


Never Doubt My Love

by Chelseadaggz



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Outlaw Queen - Freeform, hood-mills
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3514205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelseadaggz/pseuds/Chelseadaggz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written from a prompt on Tumblr meant to be a simple one-shot but it got away from me! Regina and her daughter's relationship is rocky at best meaning the former Evil Queen cannot help but feel she has failed, what happens when a decision Lily makes could change their lives forever? Will the Hood-Mills family make it through what is to come for them? Outlaw Queen</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Doubt My Love

She groaned at the incessant beeping of the machine beside her, why her bed always felt so much comfier in the mornings she did not know and she did not appreciate...maybe one of her mother's methods of torture after she'd missed curfew on Friday night...or maybe she just  _really_ didn't want to get out of bed. Yeah, that was more like it, her mother could be cunning and creative in her punishments but even that was a little beneath her. She just had to face it, it was time to start her day. She winced at the loud thud that resounded throughout her room when her hand slammed down against her alarm clock a little harder than what was meant. Luckily though, her family were early risers and if the smell of breakfast wafting through her partially opened door was anything to go by with the added chorus of squeals and giggles, it seemed all were up already.

Her eyes still burned from lack of sleep, her brow furrowing when, as she moved, she felt as though something was peeling away from her face...what the- oh,  _that's_  where her phone was. Her eyes rolled as grabbed a hold of the device and lit up the display screen only to reach blindly over the side of her bed for her phone charger when nothing happened, battery flat before she'd even started the day but, with the reason for it, she couldn't help but smile.

Her back clicked deliciously as she stretched out her limbs, attempting to shake off the last vestiges of sleep, to shed the film of tiredness still clinging to her and attempting to rise from her bed before-

"Lily Hood! If you are not up, dressed and sitting at this table in the next 5 minutes, so help me-"

"I'm up!" she bellowed back cutting her mother off swiftly, arms and legs flailing and thudding against her mattress in frustration, annoyed at the fact that her alarm clock had gone off a mere two minutes ago and already she was expected to be sitting at the dining room table like some polished and perfect robot chid. She paused her internal ranting only at the sound of the low chuckling that was coming from her doorway. "5 minutes is not a realistic goal you know," she grumbled, lifting her head only to glimpse the smirk her father wore as he simply watched her before she was allowing it to drop back into her feather pillow. "It's not!" and with one last angered groan, she threw back her comforter and swung her legs out to rest her feet on her thick carpet as she lifted into a sitting position, hands flat either side of her hips as she allowed herself one last long lingering moment of awakening with a wide yawn and final stretch.

"It's okay kiddo," he replied warmly, hand tapping against the doorframe where his head rested as he watched her standing and begin making her way over to her closet, revelling in the fact that both he and Regina had made this perfect young woman, one who was looking more and more like his brunette wife every day, save for her pale blue eyes. "You take your time and I'll keep your mother busy."

She grimaced at his words, stopping in her search for an outfit just long enough to lean back past the open wardrobe door in order to scowl at him, eyes rolling at the glint of amusement dancing in eyes just like her own. "Let's just end it there shall we?" she requested with disgust lacing her words as her eyes fell back to her closet rail again, huffing at her lack of clothes.

"You won't always be at odds you know," he spoke gently then, ever aware of how moods in this house bounced from one extreme to the other in the shortest space of time, especially when it came to his two favourite females. She loved her mother, Robin knew that and so did Regina but sometimes, especially these past few months, Lily didn't show it as she should, taking most of her anger out on her brunette mother which often ended with his daughter left screaming and fuming in her room and Regina either heading out to the plot in the backyard he'd made for her to let free some of her angrier of spells or crying in his arms...the latter always saddening for them both.

Lily though, being almost sixteen, was blissfully unaware of the strain her words sometimes had on her mother and though Robin would never guilt her into being a little more patient with Regina, he wished she knew just how hard a life Regina had lived, especially with her own mother.

_"I can't do this Robin," she heaved a heavy sob as she remained where she was, the tiles of the bathroom floor cold against her shins, her bare toes but she was numb, completely numb as her eyes remained on the square piece of photograph card beside her knees. Her eyes closed with the feeling of his fingers carding tenderly through her dark hair, crouching before her, ducking his head to catch her gaze but she couldn't allow it, for if she did she was afraid she'd fall apart completely._

_His head tilted in both concern and mild confusion when her eyes and mouth remained closed, blocking him off from her thoughts, her emotions completely. She leaned into his touch and that much he was thankful for, her words having his heart racing ever so with the worry of what had her so upset, was it him? Did she not want this with him?_

_They'd been so excited when they found out, shocked of course but_  so  _very excited that they were to have something that was completely both of them. Regina had been absolutely elated, the prospect of finally being able to carry a child, to grow something other than darkness within her body had brought her such joy. That and the realisation that both Robin and Henry were to be big brothers, not step-brother, not half-brother...just brothers to another little child._

_She'd grown only a small bump up till now, just a tiny pouch that Robin couldn't keep his hands from reaching for whenever she was near. If she were cooking it was a rare sight when strong arms weren't wrapped around her, if she were reading it was strange when a dirty blonde head wasn't resting on her abdomen, whispering sweet words to the child just to the side of his head. They spoke of what would happen when the baby would arrive, would they find a new house? Would she take time away from the co-mayor position she and Snow had worked out? If they stayed in the mansion then which room would become the nursery?_

_All of these things they'd talked about, all of these questions they'd asked...all except the one that had been answered that very afternoon. The one that had Regina completely silent all the way home, had her slipping away from her husband at the very first chance she got and had her crouched upon her bathroom floor in her blouse and panties having not had the strength to pull on the pyjama bottoms she'd picked out for herself, just staring at the sonogram, at the tiny form of their child, their baby...their daughter._

_"I said once before that I didn't want to end up like her," she whispered ever so softly, her hot breath washing over his wrist, his warm palm cupping her cheek, tear drops trailing over his skin as he remained close to her, "and I became the Evil Queen..." her head began shaking slowly then, eyes opening but completely unseeing, lost in her own thoughts, her memories. "I can't do to this baby what she did to me."_

_"And you won't Regina," his own head shook then as his brow furrowed in complete sympathy. They'd been together almost a year now, had been living together for 10 of those months and married for almost 6. He knew she was vulnerable, was just short of breaking point when they'd first met, when he'd had to leave and when he'd finally returned to her but to see the pain still so raw in her eyes, in her soul, it was heart breaking._

_"You loved this child the moment you found out about her," he reasoned gently, watching the way her face creased with her emotions, the want to believe him but the experience that made her think she knew better. "What makes you think that you would treat her any differently than the children you already have, the boys you are already raising." and he only hushed her when her eyes flashed to his, her lips parting to go over something they'd already begun healing, "Henry loves you more than any words could possibly describe," he rebutted the argument she had been preparing, the mentions of how she'd pushed him away, had almost lost him all for some curse, "that boy is devoted to you, just as Roland is and just as our little girl will be."_

That hadn't been the end of her worries, hadn't quelled her fears in the least but it had helped to allow her to enjoy the rest of her pregnancy until Lily had made her first appearance, then, all of Regina's fears had simply melted away with one glance into eyes that had started out so dark but faded into the pale blue they were now. There was no question in Regina's mind, she was going to love this baby with all of her healing heart and protect her with her very soul just as she did Henry and Roland.

He hadn't realised how lost in his thoughts he had become until he blinked to find Lily calling his name, her tone indicating it wasn't for the first time either.

"A little privacy please Dad?" she asked when his attention fell upon her once more, brow furrowed and scowl so like Regina's on his face that he had to laugh before waving his hands in surrender. "Tell Lucifer I'll be down in a second."

His eyes narrowed in warning at her reference to the devil in connection to her mother, his wife but, when Regina's demanding voice floated up from the ground floor once again, he merely pursed his lips in scolding of his daughter before turning to make his way downstairs, not missing the tongue that was pulled at the back of his head in response.

* * *

"You park your bottom back down in that seat mister." she spoke firmly without turning her attention from the eggs she was currently tending to, biting back a smirk at the indignant huff that came from her four year old as he retracted his hand back and away from the packet of chocolate chips on the counter that she had opened ready to add to the pancake batter she had finished mixing only a few seconds ago. Sugar was not something she gave freely in her house, her children were allowed treats now and again, in moderation and without deprivation but they had a long car journey ahead of them, stressful with all of them together, and so a little chocolaty indulgence to begin their weekend was allowed.

"I told you little dude," came Emma's voice from behind her, laughter lacing her words at the scowl on the little boy's face so reminiscent of those she used to garner with her mere presence from the woman cooking breakfast, the blonde having arrived earlier in order to finalise preparations for their upcoming trip, excitement bubbling within Regina's stomach at the thought of spending a whole 3 days with all of her children, Roland's campus only a bus ride away from Henry's new house, one that she hadn't had a chance to visit just yet. "Your Mom's got eyes everywhere!"

Those same eyes rolled at that, even more so when she turned to find Elliot's little eyes tracking over every inch of the kitchen before falling back onto her, wide and fearful. "I'll thank you not to frighten my children Miss Swan." she chided, slapping at the back of Emma's hand with the plastic spatula she'd just used to serve the eggs onto their plates. "Or should I say Mrs Jones." she winked and couldn't help but chuckle lowly at the red that crept up the blonde's fair neck. She and the pirate had been together for sixteen years, on and off much to most of the town's amusement, and finally Emma had indulged her boyfriend and married him.

"Nothing's changed," she grumbled, reaching out towards the same packet Elliot had with eyes avoiding Regina's amused gaze, that was until an indignant 'hey!' left her lips whilst her other hand came up to rub at the red mark forming from the wooden spoon Regina had brought down upon her. "What was that for?!"

"If I can't have any, you can't aunty Em-Em!" Elliot giggled with glee as Regina merely pursed her lips to quell the large smirk threatening to form on her face when Emma instantly poked her tongue out in her godson's direction, a smile stretching her lips and scrunching her nose as it always did when the little boy referred to her as such. It was strange to think, should they ever actually sit back and look at their lives now, how the relationship between the two women had been. Robin, having only become aware of Emma during the second curse, had only witnessed a smidgen of the anger that used to resided within the two for, unlike the previous year, there had been respect there, a shift between the two that had surprised all yet, as they had grown closer and things had settled, made complete sense.

"Will your parents and their spawn be joining us this weekend?" Regina asked as she turned back in time to flip their pancakes, smiling a little at the perfect browning of their food as she glanced back over her shoulder to find Emma and Elliot's heads close together, giggling conspiratorially until the blonde realised the other woman had asked her something, stepping behind the tot and placing a hand over his still laughing mouth, his shoulders shaking as his amusement doubled, especially so when his mother's eyes narrowed in amused suspicion. "What's going on here?" she asked waving the spoon in her hand between the two, head tilting as her own little bounce of laughter shook her own shoulders, her son beyond adorable as he shook his head back and forth, dark eyes like her own holding her gaze steadily, "secrets?" she asked in feigned shock, her mouth falling open in fake shock as she walked closer to the counter, free hand coming to rest upon her hip as she continued to point the utensil at him before turning it upon herself, "from your Mama?"

She saw, and couldn't help but laugh, at the way his shoulders fell a little, his eyes showing his conflict as turned his head enough to look back at his 'aunty Em-Em', puppy dogs that his eldest brother would be proud of, something she was quite convinced Henry had in fact taught him the last time he had visited them, something she'd be questioning him about the moment they arrived for it had cost her many a bedtime and many an extra story.

Emma's eyebrows raised as she looked down at the boy, strong in her playful resolve as she shook her own head back and forth, "it's a secret kid, remember?" and he did, told her so with a nod of his head before he was turning, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips when the blonde's hand left his mouth, sure they were in the clear...until-

"Em-Em's sneaking chocowate!" he yelled out, squealing in delight at his godmother's gasp of shock and laughing wildly when her fingers came to tickle at his side yelling out 'traitor!' even as he thrashed, one hand ceasing in order to make sure he wasn't about to fall from the stool he sat on.

Regina could only shake her head as she watched the two, chest bouncing with her laughter as she just watched, just revelled in what she now knew to be her life. She hardly flinched when strong arms came to wrap around her waist, when a stubbled cheek came to rub at the skin of her neck before resting against her own cheek, low laughter filling her ear as she leaned back into his hold, his loving warmth, already sure his gaze was fixed on the two in front of him, Elliot attempting to push Emma off of him.

"No!" he wailed with laughter shaking his cries, "I gotsta potty!"

And at that she backed off immediately with hands raised and away from the boy, grinning face turning up to find Regina with a hand over her mouth and Robin's head bouncing on her shoulders where his chin rested as she attempted to stifle her laughter. When Emma merely continued looking at her pointedly, waiting for one of them to take their son to the toilet, they only raised their eyebrows pointedly at her. "You caused this Emma," Regina told the blonde, chuckling at the groan reminiscent of Henry's that erupted from the blonde before she was reaching down and pulling Elliot out of his seat, settling him on her hip and leaving the kitchen with a huff of  _'fine.'_

As soon as they were alone, she was being spun to face her smiling husband, her own expression mirroring his as her hands gripped at his elbows, thumbs smoothing over the material covering his upper arms as he held her by the waist. "Morning beautiful," he whispered, leaning in closer to bump his nose against hers, his mouth hovering over hers.

"Good morning, my love." she couldn't help the hum that rumbled deep within her throat when he finally closed the last bit of distance between them and kissed her, lips soft and pliant against her own as they met languidly again and again. Her whole soul surged with love for this man, her husband, the father of her children and her partner in every way. She'd wondered once, a long time ago, not too long after they'd wed, if the fire that burned within her for him would last, would continue to flame just as strongly in years to come and now...practically 17 years later, she still felt like a love struck teen whose crush had  _finally_  noticed her. It was invigorating, it was surprising and it a smile always lingering somewhere in the background, waiting for him to pull it out of her with a touch, a kiss or a simple word.

"Seriously?" and there went her smile, "people have to eat in here."

Regina sighed with deep frustration as Robin merely chuckled, his patience endless where hers wore thin as the days went on. He dropped a soft, lingering kiss to her forehead before he was moving behind her, grabbing two plates in order to make them both up some breakfast, he knew his wife well enough to know she would have catered for everyone else yet would fail to eat herself unless prompted.

"You better not be packing that attitude young lady," she warned as Lily came into view when Robin had moved away from her, "I doubt you've enough room in your suitcase as it is so you might as well leave it here."

She was levelled with a gaze of complete disinterest, an expression she'd perfected years ago and handed down to her daughter it seemed. "You are absolutely hilarious mother." And she flinched, as she always did, at the formality of the title, the only title she was ever permitted to use when addressing her own mother. There had been one instance, when she had been desperate to escape, desperate for her mother to see just what her control was doing to her, how it was practically killing her, that she'd referred to Cora as 'Mama', made to feel as small as the insects scurrying in the dirt for using such a  _"childish word."_  and that had been that.

Now with her own children, dating back even to Henry, she'd been a number of things.  _Mama, Mommy, Mom, Momma_  but never,  _never_  Mother. She hadn't realised she'd spoken allowed until her eyes refocused, pulled out of her dark past by her husband's voice, firmer than she had heard it recently. He'd been trying to take the softer approach with Lily, she was a Daddy's girl after all but he also knew of Regina's fears, her insecurities when it came to her baby girl. Boy's had always come easier to her but Lily was different, a little dark haired girl just as Regina had been. It had hurt whenever Henry had looked at her with disdain before and a little after the curse had broken, it had cut her to the core but every little remark, every scowl and every scathing word thrown her way by her daughter just tasted of complete failure to her, just had her seeing Cora in every reflective surface she passed.

"Your Mom's really excited about this weekend Lils," he started, his gaze on the plate of food he was currently working through but his attention on his two girls, he could practically feel the heat of Regina's sadness radiating from the space in which she stood, arm straight holding her weight with a palm against the countertop, posture almost painfully tense as she fought to keep herself together, keep herself from shedding the tears their daughter never knew came after she'd left a room for her mother never showed her pain. "I'll thank you not to let that mouth of yours ruin it."

Regina knew he meant well, knew he was trying to help her out, to help her from being the constant bad guy in Lily's eyes, the persona of the villain she'd long since shed but where the young brunette would have stormed off in a temper if Regina should have made such a request, she merely huffed out an apology to her father and kept her brooding internal whilst eating the breakfast she'd awoken early just so that her family could wake to a good meal. It hurt, it truly did and, when Robin reached out a hand, attempting to still her progress with fingers gripping lightly at her wrist, she merely pulled from his grasp and walked out of the kitchen, passed a concerned looking blonde with an oblivious four year old on her back and into her study where she could take a good few moments to compose herself, or at least put on the mask that said she'd composed herself.

* * *

She'd remained quiet during the long drive, as did Lily. Elliot, as per usual, was talking enough for the four of them, babbling with endless excitement at the prospect of seeing his big brother 'Henny' and getting to play with 'Scarr-Scarr', the absolutely adorable nickname he'd given to his niece, though of course the boy didn't understand the familial connection between him and the girl, his big brother had made sure to tell Elliot of his important role in the two year olds life. Robin's hand hadn't left her own since she'd reappeared from her study almost twenty minutes after leaving to be led straight outside, her husband having managed to formulate some sort of order within their house and get everything organised and ready to go, Emma had left to pick up her own husband, child and both of her parents whom apparently were coming along for the ride.

The feeling of Robin's thumb gliding across the skin of her hand usually had her calming rather quickly and remembering that she wasn't like her own mother, that she was good, she was caring and she was loving with her children with no reliance on their gender but recently, with Lily's attitude towards her growing darker and darker, her insults a little sharper and scowls a little more lingering and less like those of a petulant child, Regina couldn't help but think she must have gone wrong somewhere, no matter how many times the man currently driving would tell her otherwise.

"I'm rather surprised that thing still stands," Robin spoke with laughter lacing his words as Regina glanced over to him, finding his gaze trained upon the rear view mirror in which a vibrant yellow bug was reflected, as bright an garish as the day the thing rolled into her town almost two decades ago.

"Yes well," Regina began with lips pursed at the sight of blonde curls just visible behind the steering wheel from this distance, Killian no doubt endlessly irritated beside her at being a passenger. The woman let no one other than Henry drive her car, their son using it as his own little mode of transport after he'd passed his test, much to Regina's chagrin. She'd won out, obviously, not too long after his test, when his birthday had sprung upon them and she'd purchased him something much more reliable and completely his. Emma had split the costs, grumbling that her own monstrosity of a vehicle was as reliable as the day she'd gotten it, Henry stifling a laugh when he'd reminded her that she'd actually stolen the thing and strengthening Regina's resolve completely that Henry would never again sit behind the wheel of the thing. "I think it may have had a little," and she glanced quickly to find both children had been lulled to sleep by the steady thrumming of the car, a little trick she'd found handy when they were both tiny screaming babies in her arms, "help over the last few years."

Robin could only chuckle in return, not doubting that Emma would in fact go to such lengths to preserve her beloved beetle, secretly deciding that he would too. Whilst Regina called the car monstrosity, he couldn't help but respect the thing, not that he'd ever tell his wife, he valued his life much more than that. His fingers tightened a little around hers where they rested across the centre panel, watching as her eyes drifted once to the children in the rear view mirror, Lily specifically, before she was letting out a deep sigh and turning to watch their surroundings drift quickly passed the window. He hated seeing her so upset, so down and so doubtful of herself. They'd worked so hard to push back to the surface and breathe the fresh air after so much had plagued them in the beginning of their relationship. He'd hated how she'd been poised and ready to fight any threat after they'd managed to defeat the three dark Queens and banish Rumplestiltskin along with them to a land from which they could never return. It had been a long couple of years with nothing but stress, panic and constant fear, it had been hard to adjust to normality afterwards but they had.

Belle had been understandably devastated that even the love from her pure heart hadn't been able to keep her husband on the right side, her side but, last Regina had heard from Emma, both she and Ruby had married a few years before and had been looking into adoption, something which the brunette had only been happy to advise them on. It was hard sometimes, looking back and thinking about how crazy things had been, how surreal it all was when they'd finally broken the curse holding residents within the town. Now, all were free to come and go as they pleased, no threat of no return nor loss of memories to hold them back and, whilst a lot of the old crowd remained, happy to live out their days with the people they'd overcome so much with, the younger crowd such as Ashley, Aurora and Mulan (now a couple also) had decided to venture out, see more of this world they lived in.

Robin and Regina had spoken of maybe moving away from Storybrooke, from memories of things they'd rather forget. Diners from which Regina had fled when everything had fallen apart for them, barns in which she'd almost been lost to him forever, the road leading into town where she'd first found him again after they'd been separated for what they believed to be forever, bruised, bloody and beaten by the man who'd told her he only wanted a happy ending for her after everything they'd been through. It had been a hard fight that last one and she had almost been sure, upon surrendering herself to the newest forces of darkness within their town, two of which she had known for a long time, one she had impersonated and a woman she had seen only in Henry's storybooks. She'd been so close to the brink of death, holding back her own magic as they'd tried to wield it from her trembling body, stifling cries of agony as wave after wave of pain had been emitted throughout her system but then 4 never did stand a chance against a town full of people, a town full of people who had all stepped forward just to save her life.

Yes, every pathway, every corner, every street in Storybrooke held bad memories for them both but it had also been where their story had begun. Maybe one day, when Elliot was grown and on his own path, maybe then they'd leave and spend their last years together seeing a world neither knew much about but for now they were happy.

* * *

The rest of the drive was rather uneventful both in thought and in action. This was to be a happy weekend, one filled with laughter and the love of their rather unconventional but completely wonderful family and so Regina allowed her dark memories, her despairing thoughts to fall away from her mind. Above the sound of the radio, the mellow tracks that Robin always seemed to enjoy on drives like these, she could hear the constant tapping of her daughter's nails against the glass of her phone screen as she typed out yet another message that almost always was followed by the tinkling bell tone that signalled a reply.

Regina knew nothing of the recipient of her daughter's attentions, had never seen the girl so engrossed in her phone since a couple of months ago and, whilst her gut was telling her, urging her to pry and to ask questions, her brain reminded her that she would only receive scathing words in reply, an unnecessary headache that would lead to hours of scowling looks, sarcastic quips that she hadn't the energy to face so she remained quiet, resolute in her belief that it was merely a school crush, nothing to have her worrying over...yet, of course she did, she always would no matter how Robin told her otherwise. He too had his own suspicions that their daughter had found a love interest, had chuckled at Regina's fears and told her to stop being so silly.

She was being silly, she knew so herself, knew that the school Lily attended was the safest for all of her children had attended there, Roland included and Elliot would when he was old enough. Regina had checked the place over numerous times, combed the place inch by inch with the help of Emma at least once every year simply for their piece of mind and the piece of mind of every person whose child was enrolled at the school. So yes, she would let it lie, she would allow her daughter the freedom to choose who she wanted to love, the freedom she hadn't been allowed herself. Perhaps if she knew the truth though, perhaps if she and Robin both knew what lay ahead of them, perhaps prying wouldn't seem such a bad idea but for now, for now maybe ignorance was bliss.


End file.
